...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
