I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
