If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
