Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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