so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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