Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
where are my eyebrows?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
