I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
