CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
MIDGETS
????
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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