Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
