I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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