Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
ok first of all what the fuck
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
