dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
