my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
