remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
