wrigley field is MILF paradise
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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