i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize