pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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