So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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