haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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