just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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