he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
