So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize