What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
