Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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