I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize