if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
