you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
