this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
