I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
