CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
