If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
