I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
