we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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