Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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