living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
