apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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