Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
