i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
