Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There r osticjed everywhere
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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