her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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