Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
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