Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
