He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just had sex on a roof
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
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