i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize