Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
