You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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