Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
