If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
