I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
