We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
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