your thong is hanging out like whoa
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
