just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dicks are not precious.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
