Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
