on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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