Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Don't EVER smell your tampon
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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