Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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