I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
