I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
