Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
