i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
