I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
