Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
