I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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