i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
