you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
