marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
