I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
