so that wasnt chicken after all
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
