it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
foreskin is a definite game changer
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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