Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I am available for nakedness
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
